April, June, October....What Month Are We In???

I am completely amazed at how time flies. As a child, I heard this over and over and yet I feel as if I can't even get my mind around the fact that I have now been married for 11 years and that my daughter will be turning five in the next several months. I can't quite grasp that time is leaking between my fingers like sand - I can't contain it or slow it down. All I can do at this point is try to remember some of the amazing things that happen in my life and try to hold onto them.

My days (and Kendal's) are completely filled from sun-up to sun-down. Little tasks, such as dressing, tend to take twice as long as most people probably take. Once Kendal's clothes have been chosen, I then have to round her up to stop moving. Between fighting her to change her diaper, trying to bend her legs to get them in the pants (she likes to stiffen up like a board to give me a challenge!), ducking in between her swings to avoid a slap in the face, and physically pinning her down to pull her hair up - I can't wait to get to work to get a break! Then I try to remember what day it is so I have her bags appropriately packed. Trying to remember who I pay this week - did I pay the daycare, the aid, or therapist this week? What is going on in her school class? What activities are going on at daycare? How can anyone keep up and still manage to hold down a full-time job outside the home? I have realized and now KNOW that I can do these things only by God's Grace. He gives me exactly what I need each day to make it through and always provides the strength and patience to start a new day.

Kendal seems to be going through another phase of aggression. We see the Developmental Specialist next month and I think I will once again look into the medication route. It is difficult for me to continually take the hits as she has gotten so physically strong and strong-willed. But I am her mother. What about people that don't love her unconditionally as I do? How is she to make friends if she won't stop hurting people. I'm terrified that she will grow up isolating herself and end up in a home that no one ever visits because they don't want to get hurt. I just wish there was an easy answer. I know that God is working on her and teaching me and others at the same time. Hopefully, we can help get some resolution on this in the next several months with parent training and medication.

Some great news is that we have had a breakthrough on the sleep issue. I'm not going to say that there are no longer any problems, but recently the sleep disturbance has not been as bad. About 10 days ago, the neurologist emailed me (on Sunday night at 8:45 - I love our doctors dedication in trying to help us!) stating that she had been thinking about other things that might be causing the sleep disturbance. She had noticed that Kendal had previously taken Prevacid for reflux and wondered why we were no longer using it. I explained that Kendal no longer demonstrated signs of reflux so we removed the medication. She suggested we try it again just to see if it helps her sleep. We immediately went to the doctor to get another prescription and Kendal has been doing significantly better at night with less awakenings and shorter awake times. I can't believe the last two years she has had reflux waking her up in the middle of the night and we had no idea. I have spoken to adults with acid reflux and they all state that it will wake you out of a dead sleep and keep you up for a couple of hours. I have heard it is painful. This is one of the sad parts about having a nonverbal child. She might have been suffering this whole time - but then again Kendal has such a high threshold for pain she might not have ever realized it hurt. I hope we are finally on the right track - God answers prayers!

Well, I have got to go for now but will update in a few days with pictures from a recent trip to Jackson.

Have a GREAT rest of the Week!!!