Kendal Chowing Down Tonight!
She's getting so big...who do you think she looks like? Me or James???
I struggled a little today in my very own little pity party. Most days are so great but every now and then I let my mind wonder and that is never good! I was listening to a child today a little older than Kendal. The child was talking up a storm and it really got me thinking. I know that Kendal is very smart but because I never hear her say anything I guess I sometimes forget that she must have all kinds of thoughts running through her head. Now, everyone that knows me knows that I like to talk (Doris, Shirley, and Teresa have the unfortunate blessing of knowing this first hand). I always feel better to get something off my chest, and I started thinking about my baby. She must have all these thoughts and feelings and can't tell anyone. Just thinking of that really hurt me. I can't imagine having so much going on in my head and not releasing it in some way. I can't get this image out of my head of a mime yelling out but no one hearing him. Is that going to be Kendal? Will she want to talk or because she has never done it, will she even know that she isn't talking like everyone else?
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I get really upset with myself that I have these pity parties occasionally. I hope I'm still just in the "grieving process". Kendal was just diagnosed the first week in March and it has been alot to swallow at times. I still have hopes for the unknown future, but I question what she will be capable of - will she be able to graduate from high school? from college? will she get married? will she live independently? I know my questions aren't different from any other parents, I guess I'm just wondering how this Angelman Syndrome will affect the rest of her life. I hope I get to the point where I do not have the pity parties or feel sorry for her. I know that she is God's child and he has much more in store for her than I can imagine.
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On a lighter note, I had Kendal in my lap tonight as she was drinking her milk and I was lightly caressing her stomach. When I would stop, she would grab my hand and start moving it. When I would start rubbing her belly again, she would then release me. I don't know why I worry so much - this child is very much in control of this household!!
1 comments:
I think that she looks like herself! Although her eyebrows remind me of all of my kids eyebrows. Lindsey thinks she looks like her when she was little, but I can't see it. She is a total mixture of both of you but since I don't have the pleasure of your baby pictures it's hard to say who she really resembles. She sure is getting big!
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