Video w/Interviews of the Bella Bash

Nashville Country Club: Danny Gokey & more at Bella Bash – for Regie Hamm’s cause

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http://www.bellabash.org

A Great Fall Day!

The first weekend in October, me and Kendal went to visit my sister, her husband, and my two beautiful nieces in Jackson, TN. The weather was a nice fall day with a crisp breeze in the air. We decided to all visit a local pumpkin patch and we all had a really great time!

This pumpkin patch had a really neat exhibit for the kids. You had to help around the farm. Everyone had to get a basket and get to work!

Next, you had to gather the eggs..... Then, it was time to pick the apples off the tree..... Milking time already???

Next, picking the tomatoes off the vines...

Off to the cotton warehouse to get it ready to take to market.....

One last thing before we're done....dig up the potatoes (Kendal's favorite!)

Oops! We almost forgot to search for that perfect pumpkin!


It was a great time and I know one that I'll remember for a long time. Thanks Katie, Mike, Marilyn, and Olivia!!!

Kendal in Speech

Love, love, love my Kendal signing "thank you" after her treat.

April, June, October....What Month Are We In???

I am completely amazed at how time flies. As a child, I heard this over and over and yet I feel as if I can't even get my mind around the fact that I have now been married for 11 years and that my daughter will be turning five in the next several months. I can't quite grasp that time is leaking between my fingers like sand - I can't contain it or slow it down. All I can do at this point is try to remember some of the amazing things that happen in my life and try to hold onto them.

My days (and Kendal's) are completely filled from sun-up to sun-down. Little tasks, such as dressing, tend to take twice as long as most people probably take. Once Kendal's clothes have been chosen, I then have to round her up to stop moving. Between fighting her to change her diaper, trying to bend her legs to get them in the pants (she likes to stiffen up like a board to give me a challenge!), ducking in between her swings to avoid a slap in the face, and physically pinning her down to pull her hair up - I can't wait to get to work to get a break! Then I try to remember what day it is so I have her bags appropriately packed. Trying to remember who I pay this week - did I pay the daycare, the aid, or therapist this week? What is going on in her school class? What activities are going on at daycare? How can anyone keep up and still manage to hold down a full-time job outside the home? I have realized and now KNOW that I can do these things only by God's Grace. He gives me exactly what I need each day to make it through and always provides the strength and patience to start a new day.

Kendal seems to be going through another phase of aggression. We see the Developmental Specialist next month and I think I will once again look into the medication route. It is difficult for me to continually take the hits as she has gotten so physically strong and strong-willed. But I am her mother. What about people that don't love her unconditionally as I do? How is she to make friends if she won't stop hurting people. I'm terrified that she will grow up isolating herself and end up in a home that no one ever visits because they don't want to get hurt. I just wish there was an easy answer. I know that God is working on her and teaching me and others at the same time. Hopefully, we can help get some resolution on this in the next several months with parent training and medication.

Some great news is that we have had a breakthrough on the sleep issue. I'm not going to say that there are no longer any problems, but recently the sleep disturbance has not been as bad. About 10 days ago, the neurologist emailed me (on Sunday night at 8:45 - I love our doctors dedication in trying to help us!) stating that she had been thinking about other things that might be causing the sleep disturbance. She had noticed that Kendal had previously taken Prevacid for reflux and wondered why we were no longer using it. I explained that Kendal no longer demonstrated signs of reflux so we removed the medication. She suggested we try it again just to see if it helps her sleep. We immediately went to the doctor to get another prescription and Kendal has been doing significantly better at night with less awakenings and shorter awake times. I can't believe the last two years she has had reflux waking her up in the middle of the night and we had no idea. I have spoken to adults with acid reflux and they all state that it will wake you out of a dead sleep and keep you up for a couple of hours. I have heard it is painful. This is one of the sad parts about having a nonverbal child. She might have been suffering this whole time - but then again Kendal has such a high threshold for pain she might not have ever realized it hurt. I hope we are finally on the right track - God answers prayers!

Well, I have got to go for now but will update in a few days with pictures from a recent trip to Jackson.

Have a GREAT rest of the Week!!!

Changes Over the Summer

This summer has been busy as ever and I wanted to fill everyone in on the latest....

Kendal is continuing to make great strides in speech therapy - she is making more sounds, beginning to use a few of her signs without prompting, and even trying to say phrases like "I love you". I have to give HUGE credit to our speech therapist, Ashley Carlson. She is amazing with Kendal and knows how to get the most out of her. She's worked with Kendal for about 16 months now and we are blessed to have her in our lives.

One of the newest developments with Kendal has been that we have had to hire a private aide to be with Kendal during the day at her daycare. Kendal requires constant attention (due to pica, aggressive behaviors, and inability to do tasks by herself)and the daycare obviously is not equipped to provide such individualized care that Kendal requires. The daycare has been amazing and has constantly provided support to help Kendal and our family. Her aide right now is a young girl that recently graduated from high school and is now attending college in hopes of getting a degree to work with special needs children. I was scared Kendal would scare her away from her desired occupation!!! Kendal has challenged her, but absolutely loves her. The aide keeps Kendal on target at school by making sure she engages in appropriate play with her peers, works on academic work by doing hand-over-hand, potty-training, and following directions. Again, we are blessed to be able to find just the right people to work with us!

Kendal also started school back in the local elementary school for the pre-school special education program. The permanent teacher is back in session and she is doing an amazing job. We are really excited about the constant activities that they have going on in the classroom and the aides that work in the classroom. These people do the work they do because of their love of special needs children. All these people that work with Kendal on a weekly basis are helping her so much!!!

Got Me Thinking

I was at work the other day and heard a commercial for the last season of The Oprah Winfrey Show. What caught my attention is that Oprah was saying that the one primal thing she has learned after all these years is that people just want to be heard. They what to have their voice. They want that connection with others. This really got me thinking.

Having a non-verbal child, I couldn't get the worry out of my head about Kendal wanting to have her voice. I can't imagine how hard it is for her watching the world around her chatter away without being able to get in a word. I know that Kendal will always be "different" from others in the fact that she won't be able to talk. I know that most people will never know how cool she is because they will never take the opportunity to know her. This realization is so hurtful to my heart. We all want our children accepted, but realistically I know that Kendal will be made fun of due to her disability. The hard part for me is that she won't be able to dish back at them what they throw at her. Will she understand when she is insulted or made fun of? Will I be able to teach her that is doesn't matter what those people say about her? Will she mentally understand what is going on? I don't know the answers to these questions, but they keep me up at night. Gnawing at me when I am weak in my faith.

Part of me wants to be there to defend her when she won't be able to defend herself. I imagine what I would tell people when they give us ugly looks at a restaurant because Kendal is loud or hard to handle. I imagine what I would tell little children who innocently ask me why Kendal won't talk, even though I don't really know the answer myself. I fantasize about Kendal waking up one day and she is a "normal" child. No more therapists, no more specialists, no more medications, no more battles with her, no more constant worries over paying all her expenses, no more..........

I wonder what I can do to make sure Kendal is heard. To make sure that her thoughts and feelings are valued even if she can't express them like most people. I don't know the answers to these questions but they continue to weigh on me. I will continue to work toward understanding how Kendal must feel and give her any and every way to express herself. I know I must help her get her voice. I know that she has important things to say and it is my job to find an outlet for her.